Why becoming your dogs Parent is so important :
Your dog is less likely to attempt to harm you, your family, or other people.
Your dog will not pull on his leash during walks.
Your dog will remain well-behaved, even around other dogs who may or may not be.
Your dog will learn to respect your possessions.
Reduces constant barking or whining.
Your dog will be less anxious and nervous and much less stress.
Your dog will be happier and more content.
Dogs have a social group mentality. If you own a dog, you are a member of the same social group that he/she is.
If a human shows weakness when they first bring him/her into their social group, the dog will often try to become the Parent himself/herself.
There will always be someone that takes decisions. If you make sure that it is you, then you'll be able to control your dog in any situation because they will look to you to see how they should react.
A dog will try to become the adult responsable (Parent) if no one else is.
Consider dogs in a social interaction. Dogs are happier when they know their place in the group. Your dog will be more content and happy when you consistently behave like a stable and fair parent. If you allow the dog to be leader in the home, but want to be the leader when you want to take him/her for a walk, you will frustrate your dog.
A Parent ...
Decides where the kids will go.
Decides when the kids will eat.
Decides who gets what food.
Decides who is allowed to bark and when.
Decides when the kids (dogs) are allowed to play.
Decides what the kids (dogs) are allowed to play with.
Decides how other members of the family must behave.
Decides who owns what.
Always walks in the front.
Can take anything away from any dog in his family and claim it as his own.
Never says he's sorry.
The rest of the Kids (dogs) is not resentful of how this works. To them, it is normal. If you modify your behavior to fit to this model (when relating to your dog), your dog will be content because his/her group interaction is working the way his/her instincts say it should.
When the parents correct other dogs in their interaction, they are rarely aggressive, but just assertive. Humans must learn this combination of calm assertiveness to master their role as the parent
There are exceptions to the human, as the leader, always being in front. When the dog is working, for instance, sled dogs... they are in front, but they are also working.
Be calm and assertive when dealing with your dog.
Only in firm tones.
Don't use a high-pitched voice
Don't speak in a cutesy voice, like you would to a baby
Do not speak in anger
Don't say it as if you are asking the dog a question.
If you give a command and you know the dog is purposefully ignoring you, stop giving the command, you're just making it worse.
If you have seen Star Wars, the "Jedi mind trick" is a good example of calm assertiveness. Not the waving of hands, but the firmness and calmness of the tone of voice.
Establishing Yourself as dog Parent
Whether you have just adopted a young pup or an adult dog, you have many things to teach your new companion. You want your dog to be loved, trained and lively, but not spoiled, a robot, or uncontrollable. Dogs can be naturals at learning manners and commands, particularly when you understand a key aspect of their nature. Dogs are social, pack-oriented animals. Your dog will respect a strong, clear, fair leader. If you fail to establish this position for yourself, your dog will feel obliged to try to take the position of leader for himself.
The dog Parent Role
In a natural state, dogs would live their entire lives within the closely structure order of their social group. While young, they would begin to learn the workings of the social system and, as they grew, begin to establish their place within the family's dominance hierarchy. Dominance, submissiveness, leadership, obeying others - these are all concepts that are understood by every dog. These are all concepts that you must understand as well if you are to relate you your dog in a successful manner.
Each group has a leader, an individual who is dominant over all the family members. In wolf society, this individual is called the "alpha." This is the member who makes the decisions, who must be obeyed. This is the individual that you must be in your dog's eyes.
Steps to Establishing Your Role as dog parent
1. Always praise your dog as if you own it. Put your hands firmly on the dog. Hug the dog. Pat him so that your hands get warm from the contact. Do not praise him in a timid way.
2. Praise warmly, well and quickly. Do not drag out your praising of a working dog. Do not fawn over the dog just because he did one sit-stay. Diferent for a pet.
3. Reprimand fairly and quickly, then forgive. Don't hold a grudge. When you put your hands on your dog, do it with confidence and authority. Hands on does NOT mean hitting. Hands on may mean a collar shake, a leash correction, a surprising assist into a sit or down. Do it quickly and with authority. Then when you've made the dog do exactly what you want - once - give him a hug. That's parenting.
4. Make the dog obey on the first command. Don't get into the habit of repeating yourself. A dog's hearing is significantly better than yours, and you can bet he heard you the first time.
5. Give commands only if you can follow through, and make sure you always follow through. If the dog is running across the park to meet another dog, do not yell "come" - if he decides not to obey, you have no means of correcting him. Once he accepts you as leader, he will stop and return to you - because he will have learned that leaders are to be obeyed.
6. Give permission. Give it for what is about to do anyway as long as it is OK with you. This does not mean you say OK when you see your dog about to steal a plate of cookies. This means you do say OK when your dog is about to get into the car for a ride with you, eat the food in his bowl, go out with you for his afternoon walk. It means that in a subtle way you are teaching the dog to look to you for approval and permission instead of making decisions on his own. Remember - the better behaved the dog, the more freedom and fun he can have.
7. Deny permission. Monitor your dog's behavior. Teach him some manners. Even if you like him to walk on your couch and coffee table, he shouldn't behave that way in other people's homes. When you take him to the lake, he should wait for permission to swim. It may be too cold some days or there may be too many young children swimming.
8. Do a down-stay. This is an easy way to reinforce your role as Parent. Put the dog in a down-stay for five to ten minutes. For particularly dominant dogs, make a down-stay regularly. If he's a wild animal and he doesn't know the meaning of the word obedient, all the better. When he breaks - and he will - put him back. If he breaks 14 times put him back 14 times. At the end of a few minutes, the dog knows you're the parent. He knows that anyone who holds his leash can call the shots. And this is with no yelling, no hitting, no electronic stimulation, no leaving him in the kennel or garage for three days, no nothing. Just a sit-stay/down-stay. Easy and effective.
9. Be benevolent, but tough. Act like a top dog. Tough, but loving. Always be fair an never get angry. Dogs understand what's fair and what's not.
10. Be a model to your dog. The top dog behaves with dignity, surety, confidence, authority, and intelligence. This will help your dog to be calm himself.
11. If you have more than one dog in your home, you decide the "pecking" order within the dog interaction by routinely choose who gets fed first, who get toys first, etc. Make the others wait for their turn. This is another means of exerting your authority.
Your Dog Will be Happier
You may think that this system is just being too controlling and not "fair" to the dog. Actually, by being consistent in your handling and in your demands on the dog you are being fair. He needs structure - to understand what you want and what his responsibilities are. What is truly unfair is giving up a dog because of behavior problems - problems caused by the lack of structure and guidance that were the owners' responsibility to give. Unfortunately, animal shelters are filled every day with these dogs. Firm, loving training will keep you and your dog happy - and keep you together.
Rules to be a Dog Parent
Not all dogs are the same so not all rules apply for all dogs...Always talk with me first to understand your case.
1. The number one way to communicate to a dog that you are his parent is to take him for a walk. Not the type of walk most humans take their dogs on but a estructure walk, where the dog is made to heel beside or behind the human who is holding the lead. This is most important for all dogs, as in a dog's mind, the leader always leads the way. A dog must not be allowed to sniff or eliminate anywhere he wishes, but where you allow him. One marking against a tree is enough for male dogs. The dog should be concentrating on following the human, not worrying about leading the way. This estructure walk should be done daily. Not only will this release built-up energy, but it will satisfy the dog's instinct to migrate which all dogs possess. Dogs that have excess energy bottled up inside them and that do not have their migration instinct met will develop various instability issues that most people mistake for being breed traits.
2. All humans must eat before the dogs, as the leader always eats first. When you give your dog its food eat a small snack first while he is watching, lay the snack near the dog’s food so that he thinks you are eating out of his bowl (the leader always eats first).
3. No table scraps should be fed to the dogs.
4. Feedings must be at a scheduled time. (No self-feeding dog food dispensers should be used, as this allows the dog to choose when he eats.)
5. Humans must not let the dog go through any doorways first. Or up or down any stairways first. Dogs must always go through the doorways and up and down stairs after the humans, as the leader of the pack always goes first. If the dog does not stay behind the humans, the dog must be told to "WAIT" and given the command to "OK" after all humans have passed through. All dogs should know basic commands. These commands are vital in the communication between you and your dog and should always be taught.)
6. When you leave the house or the room, even for a minute, ignore the dog for a few minutes upon your return.
7. A simple obedience command such as “sit” should be given before any pleasurable interaction with the dog (i.e., play session, petting, feeding, a walk, etc.). The children should give the dog commands at least once a day and reward with a treat when the command is followed. A simple “SIT” will do. No treat should be awarded if the dog does not follow the command. Show your dog he does not get anything for free. His food, water, treats, even praise/love have to be earned by doing something. Even something as little as SIT, COME, or making him wait for the treat while you hold it in front of him. Make sure the dog takes the treat from your hands gently. Do not tolerate a mouthy dog.
8. You should not lie on the floor to watch TV when the dog is around and no one should roll around the floor playing with the dog, as a human should never put himself in an equal or lesser height position than the dog.
9. You are the one who greets newcomers first, the dog is the last to get attention (the parent is the one who greets newcomers and lets the rest know when it is safe to greet the newcomer).
10. If a dog is lying in your path, do not walk around the dog, either make the dog move or step over the dog.
11. During the time you are establishing your higher social group position, no hugs should be given to the dog by you, as a dominant dog may consider this a challenge of power.
12. To a dog in a dominant frame of mind eye contact is a challenge. Whoever averts his gaze first loses. If the human averts first this reinforces the dog’s higher power position. Do not have staring contests with a dog, as if you avert or blink first, it will only reinforce, in the dog’s mind, that he is Top Dog.
13. Ideally, dogs should not sleep in your bed. In the dog world the most comfortable place to sleep is reserved for the higher members of the social group. If a dog is allowed to sleep on the bed, the dog must be invited up and not be allowed to push the humans out of the way. Making them sleep at the foot of the bed rather than, for example, on your pillow is best.
14. Dogs must never be allowed to mouth or bite anyone at any time, including in play.
15. Any attention given to the dog, including petting, should be given when the human decides attention is to be given (absolutely no petting when the dog nudges or paws you or your hand. This would be letting the dog decide and reinforcing, in his mind, that he is higher on the scale than the human.)
16. Games of fetch or play with toys must be started and ended by the human.
17. Very dominant dogs that have a problem with growling should not be allowed to lie on your furniture, as the leader of the family always gets the most comfortable spot. Dogs belong on the floor. If you do decide to allow your dog on the furniture, you must be the one who decides when he is allowed up and you must be the one who decides when he is to get off, by inviting him up, and telling him to get down.
18. No tug-of-war should be engaged unless you know the rules to win, as this is a game of power and you may lose the game, giving the dog a reinforcement (in the dog's mind) of top dog.
19. Dogs need to be taught a “drop it” or release command. Any objects the dog has in his possession should be able to be taken away by all humans.
20. Dogs own no possessions, everything belongs to the humans. They are all on "loan" from the human family. You should be able to handle or remove any item at all times from the dog with no problems from the dog. Even if you are taking a chicken bone out of the dog's mouth.
21. Dogs should not be allowed to pull on the leash. When they do this they are leading the way and it is the humans that need to lead the way and show they're higher up in the pack order. (In the wild, the leader of the pack always leads the way; the leader leads the hunt.)
22. When you put his food dish down, he must wait until you give the "OK" to eat it. Place his food on the ground and tell him to wait. If he darts at the food, block him with your body. You can point at him and tell him, "No, wait," however do not speak much. Dogs are, for the most part, silent communicators. They feel one another's energy and your dog can feel yours. Yes, your dog can read your emotions. So stand tall and think "big" and stay confident. Do not be nervous, your dog will sense this and assume you are weak. It is this weakness that triggers a dog to try and take over (for the good of the social group; the family needs a strong leader). Give the dog a command before giving the food. If a dog does not follow the command (i.e. to sit), he does not eat. Try again in about 20 minutes or longer. Repeat this until the dog listens to the command. When your dog calms down and waits patiently, (ears set back, head lowered even slightly, lying down is good if he is relaxed with his ears back, no signs of growling on his face) invite him to eat his food. The people in the family the dog growls at should feed the dog the majority of the time.
23. Small dogs or puppies that demand to be picked up or put down should not get what they want until they sit or do another acceptable quiet behavior. They should not be put down unless they are settled quietly in your arms.
24. Dogs should never be left unsupervised with children or anyone who cannot maintain leadership over the dog.
25. To reinforce your position even more, you can make your dog lie down and stay there for 20 to 30 minutes a day. Tell him to lie down, then tell him to stay. If he tries to get up, correct him.
26. Last but certainly not least...when you are around your dog avoid emotions such as fear, anxiety, harshness or nervousness. Your dog can sense these emotions and will see you as weak. This will escalate your problem as your dog feels an even stronger need to be your leader. Think Big and Powerful and be calm, assertive, and consistent. Remember, there is no hiding our emotions from our dogs. They can, in a sense, read our minds in reading our emotions. This energy is the universal language of animals. Talk less, using more body language. Picture yourself, in your own mind, as big, powerful and very sure of yourself. Pull your shoulders back and stand up straight. Your dog will feel this. This is your number one resource when it comes to communicating with your dog. Your dog will be happy and secure knowing he has a strong Parent to care for him.